I hate to break it to you, especially so early in this article, but there really is no such thing as falling behind in life. It’s important to understand that everyone treads their own path and that your reality may (and should) look different to someone else’s. Still, it’s perfectly ok to want to change your current reality, but if you feel anxious, depressed or hopeless when you think about your financial situation, there is little chance that you’re going to be able to change it. If you want to change your reality, first you need to change the way you feel about it and yourself. So, how do we work on feeling better about where we are right now? Well, I have a secret for you – keep reading!
Most of us want to be happier. Most of what we do in life seems to be driven towards having a happier life. But the problem is that we believe that happiness is something outside ourselves, that we are looking to buy, get or achieve. We believe that we’d be happier if we weren’t so behind in life – if we could just lose the weight, buy the house, get the dream job, or meet the right person – like everybody else seems to. But here is my secret – and it’s a big one:
Happiness is not something that you find, buy or get – you create it.
ALL emotions are literally created by the thoughts in our minds. I know it seems kind of simple, but it is oh. So. Powerful. If you are thinking that you’re falling behind in life, then, of course, the emotions that are going to come up for you are going to be inadequacy, sadness, and anxiety, just to name a few. It doesn’t always seem that those thoughts and feelings are within our control, but I promise you, from my experience, it is truly a choice. And when you change how you feel, you can change how you behave and it will change the results you have in your life.
So, where do you even start?
If you’re feeling a certain way, the first thing to do is to bring awareness to it. Most of us are so used to suppressing and avoiding our uncomfortable emotions that the very act of being present with how we feel is a difficult thing to do. Whether you use shopping, chocolate biscuits or a glass (or bottle) of wine to do it, it’s all the same. But in order to do the work to get to the root of why we’re feeling the way we do, we need to come back to ourselves, come back to our body and allow it to guide us. Part of being human is having uncomfortable emotions and if instead of avoiding them we use them to point us in the right direction, we can learn and grow and improve ourselves and our lives.
Once you’ve worked out how you are feeling, as yourself this very important question “What thought am I having that is causing this feeling?” Get curious with yourself and figure out what the subconscious thoughts are driving the emotion. Bringing awareness to these thoughts can sometimes be enough to help you release them, but sometimes you’re going to need to take things a step forward and ask yourself more questions. Is this thought even true? Where did this thought come from – is it even mine? Is this thought serving me?
A lot of our subconscious beliefs are just thoughts that have been programmed into our minds from the messages that we heard in childhood. Sometimes we’re carrying around all of our parents’ limiting beliefs and when we can recognise that they are not even our beliefs and that they are not serving us, we can let them go.
Changing your thoughts
Once you’ve uncovered and cleared the thought patterns and beliefs that aren’t serving you, it’s now time to change those thoughts. Once again, working backwards we can start by working out what emotions you DO want to feel and create the positive thought patterns that are going to help you get where you need to go. For example, is the feeling you want to feel “Motivated”? If so, what are the thoughts that you think will support this emotion? What you say to yourself is super important and the more that you can repeat the positive thoughts, whether aloud, written or just in your head, they have the power to change how you feel and then ultimately how you act.
Be aware, that uncovering your subconscious thoughts is a practice that takes time. You will not always be able to uncover those thoughts alone, it may require guidance from a coach, counsellor or even just a close friend.
Remember, what you think creates your feelings, what you feel drives your behaviour and ultimately, your behaviour drives the results you have in your life. And the best part about this – it means that YOU are in the driver’s seat of your life!